to all my loves

is holidays supposed to be this boring...
it's really my last holiday in my secondary school life and yet it feels like i am going to cry really. tears of boredom! next year, i have to go back to square one, ('hello, i'm nur and you are?') i'm honestly really scared. i really don't know what my future holds.. i'm scared to be judged without even saying a word. i just want to crawl in my bed each day, doing nothing. seriously, this world i am in, right now is a total mess!!!!!!!!!! i wanna work hard but again the word 'scared' has it all written on my freaking face. people like me would love to ignore tons of stuff and be sheltered at home where i know hurt can never come near me. outside those brown wooden closed door lives a scary world where i know i can't avoid any longer..
it doesn't mean that once i opened that door, i'm walking alone.

to all my loves, my friends.
for all the years we've been together was the best years of my life, that i can promise you.

thanks for showing the care and concern that i needed, i will never forget you. i won't look at you and look away, i promise. i will smile and say 'hi'. i know i have said a lot of hurtful things to you. sorry. let's just say i wasn't using my brain.
i'm sorry for putting tears to your eyes with those thoughtless and harmful words.
i'd love to say sorry for all of the stupid things i've done to you.

i'm scared to loose you my friends, again the word 'scared' is used.

i hope i don't do the same mistake that i did in the past to all my other friends in the future.

-to the people, i hanged out with after cambridged and also carine and christine.
i love you all..